In the Tray: Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony

Well, that's a wrap. Rockstar had concluded their Episodic Content for Liberty City with "The Ballad of Gay Tony" (Gay Tony for short). After finishing the game, I must say that Rockstar has scored yet another hit, but with a few problems that potential buyers should be aware of.

"Gay Tony" is the second DLC for Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto IV. Duh. However, you don't play as Gay Tony. You play as Luis Lopez, best friend and business partner to Gay Tony, the owner of Liberty City's hottest gay and straight nightclubs. Once again, Rockstar delivers a completely unique perspective to the continuing saga. In the original GTA 4, Niko Bellic arrived with dingy clothes and 25 bucks to his name. In The Lost and Damned, Johnny Klebitz was living in shithole apartment. In "Gay Tony" Luis has got it made. He has a nice apartment, a huge wardrobe and lots of cash. Still, Rockstar retains the themes that inhabited the other two GTA 4's, but in a different way. While the original focused on climbing the social ladder, "Gay Tony" focuses on staying on top, keeping the top slot when everything comes crashing down.

Luis himself isn't as big a character as Gay Tony, mind you. He does have a pretty good backstory and a few missions relate to his troubled past, but it doesn't nearly affect him as much as Gay Tony does. Tony has become a messed-up junkie in the past few years and is losing a grip on properly managing things. As such, he makes bad choices and gets into trouble with everyone. I mean everyone: the Russian mob, Chinese Drug Dealers, and anyone else who wants to get a slice of Tony's very profitable pie. As such, it's up to Luis to get him out of it. The missions that you're given are not "Do this and I'll make you rich." They are more like "Do this and I won't kill you." Characters you met in both the original GTA IV and TL&D make appearances, including Ray Bulgarin (the reason Niko came to Liberty City), Gracie Ancelotti (the girl Niko kidnapped), Brucie, Roman, and of course, Niko and Johnny. However, none of them outshine the enigma that is Yusef Amir. A ridiculously overstereo-typed middle-eastern daddy's boy, with an affinity for gold (gold phone, gold car, gold gun) and loose women, as well as the liberal usage of the N-word, Yusef is easily the most controversial character in the entire Grand Theft Auto franchise, not just GTA 4. He stands out a lot and is by far the most lively character you'll see in a video game for quite some time.

If you don't enjoy the story of "Gay Tony," you may enjoy the gameplay. The missions are over-the-top fun that we haven't seen since San Andreas. However, each mission is grounded in at least some realism, so they are more "highly improbable" instead of just "impossible". Still, they are a lot of fun. Most will have you doing really cool things that we didn't see in GTA because it was too unrealistic. On the other hand, you'll also see some really boring missions that you would have expected would be as explosive as the rest. Remember the Museum mission? When Luis interupts Niko and Johnny's meeting? Well that's pretty much all he does. He gets in a chopper and takes off like that. Or when Luis and Gay Tony make a trade for Gracie to Niko and Packie? He just drives off on his boat to safety. It's kind of sad that we had to wait all that time just for lame missions we thought were gonna rock. Still, the game makes up for it with the best weapons in the GTA series to date. The list of guns is awesome: Automatic .44 Magnum, Silenced P90, the SAW, a Golden Uzi, a high-tech sniper rifle, sticky bombs, and, of course, an automatic shotgun with explosive rounds. The new attack helicopter and APC are also fun to mess around with (though I would have liked a lock-on feature). Mini-games include dancing, golf, parachuting (done with wonderful controls), drug wars, and cage-fighting. Each little aspect of new gameplay will have you playing this game for hours.

In conclusion, the "Episodes of Liberty City" is well worth the 40 dollars, and if you already have TL&D, "Gay Tony" is well worth the extra 20. It's a fun experience and a good time. However, if your short on cash and just want to wait for Modern Warfare 2, you may want to hold off on this one. Either way, you can't really go wrong. Thanks for reading!

Things Fall Apart

If the Broncos' season has been pure luck, then they snagged their best luck yet by having a bye week for one of the strangest weeks in NFL history. Not just in terms of records, but also plays. Let's get to the biggest piece of news, via my usual category format.

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down: Minnesota Vikings. One of the remaining undefeated teams fell today after a tough loss to the defending champs, the Pittsburgh Steelers. What's even worse is how it transpired. 13-10 Steelers. Farve and the Vikes are driving. A touchdown to take the lead is imminent. Then the unthinkable. Farve is stripped of the ball, and Pittsburgh makes sure its fattest defender picks it up and runs 77 yards into the endzone. 20-10. This game is done. No it's not. Kickoff to Percy Harvin, who then pulls an Eddie Royal by running 88 yards to make the game 20-17. The Vikings defense temporarily woke up to stop Big Ben and get the punt. Once again, Farve fires on all cylinders. A touchdown is, again, imminent. Then, again, the unthinkable. Farve's pass is deflected then intercepted then returned for a touchdown. 27-17. Game over. Tough loss for the Vikings, but I am still convinced we'll see them in the playoffs and possibly the Superbowl.

Comeback kids: I was all ready to give this to a determined San Fran team when all of a sudden the Saints showed up in Miami. Down 24-3 at one point, the Saints rallied to beat the Fins 46-34. Nice comeback for the team I'm now convinced is Superbowl-bound.
The Real Deal: Cincinnati Bengals. A 45-10 win over the Chicago Bears convinced me of two things. 1. Thank God we got rid of Jay Cutler (I know "one day he'll be great", but as of today he threw 3 interceptions, 10 for the season). 2. The Bengals are gunning for a wild card slot. If they play the rest of the season with the pose they played with today, they're going to get it, too.
Live and Let Die: American Football in the UK. Seriously. It's the same principle we use for Soccer in the US. We'll never embrace as much as we have other sports. Sorry, but it's the truth. Not to mention the game could have been played here so that people who actually knew what was going on could watch it in person.
And then there were two...oh wait...three...: For the first time in NFL history, three teams have remained unbeaten into week 7. I want to talk about each. First off, the Colts. It's no secret that the Colts have always had an easy route to the playoffs. With Peyton playing beautifully against teams not worthy to shine his cleats, the Colts are shoo-ins for the postseason. What they do when they get there is a mystery. They could go all the way, but they could also get eliminated via some other team's lucky break. Just know that a second ring of Peyton's finger isn't assured. Same goes for the Broncos. There is always a possibility that we won't make the playoffs (however, I have to say that this team doesn't nearly have the capacity to fail as last year's team had). Plus, the boy wonder McD may be in over his head come December, when we have to play stellar teams out for blood. Finally, the Saints. Yes, you heard me right: I think they're going to the Superbowl. You heard it here first. The team isn't the greatest on the planet, but the killer offense has proven unstoppable against even what was considered the best defense in the league, the NY Giants (complete bullshit but still). I would love to see them play the Broncos or the Steelers to truly prove their worth, but I believe we'll see this team in Miami again, next time as Superbowl contenders.
Gonna be a good week 8, with the undefeated Broncos playing the Baltimore Ravens (two teams I consider very similar to each other in many respects and pretty evenly matched) and Farve's return to Lambeau Field for the first time as a challenger. It seems like every week there has been at least one good matchup to watch. Let's hope the trend continues.

Are you ready for some football.....opinions?!

Hey gang. Got a special post for you today about the NFL and how teams are progressing so far. I hopefully will be doing this every few weeks or so to give an insight on how I feel about the teams. Don't get your panties in a bundle if I say something that offends you...the season is only a few weeks in and in no way are my predictions going to be fact.
Superbowl Picks: Indianapolis Colts vs. Minnesota Vikings. Picture it. Arguably the two best teams in the NFL. Manning vs. Farve. Two veteran gunslingers in the greatest shootout since The American Revolution. It's going to be epic. It's going to be glorious. It's going to be unbelievable.
The Upset: New Orleans Saints. Think of it this way: The 2007 Giants were to the 2007 Patriots what the 2009 NO Saints are to any team in the NFL. The Destroyers of Worlds. Don't believe me? Just ask the 2009 Giants, whose record is 5-1 thanks in part to 48-27 rout majestically orchestrated by Drew Brees and Co. Playoffs? Undoubtedly. Superbowl? It gets more possible every week for these guys.
Don't Count Them Out: Denver Broncos. Seriously NFL pundits. Shut up. Most people aren't looking in restrospect to how we thought the season would go down. They keep saying, "Of course they beat Cleveland and Oakland." But in reality, a lot of folks thought we wouldn't be able to even beat those teams. Our coach was too young, our quarterback too old and our team too crappy. It's turned into exactly the opposite. McDaniels is the wonderkid, the boy genius, the li'l mastermind. Orton turned out to outshine Jay Cutler, as he knows his limitations and makes smart decisions by going for the first down and not the touchdown (something Cutler loved to do and now has seven interceptions to show for it). The team? No. 1 defense in the league. Period. Don't believe me? Check the stats. Or the record. This team is going places.
Like Riding a Bicycle: Tom Brady. Brady is coming back strong after being off the field for a year. One of the greatest quarterbacks of all time is slowly but surely working his way back. I will say this: Patriots will win their division. They are the best team by far. More on that later, but first just a thought: don't hype up the win last week too much. Beating a 0-6 team 59-0 shouldn't dictate stellar material, just a flawless offensive line for the Pats and a terrible Titans team.
Still Got It: Ben Roethlisberger. God I want to hate this guy. An arrogant prick who has been accused of assaulting a woman and goes on WWE to look like a jackass. But his stats say otherwise. A great QB no doubt. Playoffs are probable for this douche bag.
Wild Card: Cincinnati Bengals. They beat the Ravens. OMGWTFBBQ. Very impressive start for this team. Maybe not the best team in the league, but if anyone could surprise the pundits by playoff time, it's the Bengals. Nice work by this team.
Biggest Disappointment: Mark Sanchez. Once nicknamed "Sanchise", the NYJ QB has lead his team to a less than great 3-3 record. Though it's still early and he's a rookie, I have to be harsh: this kid is a joke. 10 interceptions in 6 games (5 against the dismal Buffalo Bills) is enough to rethink how you let this kid do business. He'll need to pick it up if he wants to stay on next season.

In the Tray: Brütal Legend Part 2

Now on to gameplay. This is the part of the game that I think everyone will have a problem with, not because they won't like it, but because it can get tricky a few times. It is composed of a lot of different types of gameplay and as a result it's more the jack of all trades, master of none.
First off, you've got your hack n' slash. Eddie uses his powerful axe and flying V guitar to destroy his enemies in the goriest way possible. You can even snag combos to make yourself more efficient, but really, I found the most useful move to just be a simple ground-pound. Plus none of the enemies are tough enough that actually strategy be applied: just beat the living shit out of them until they die. To offset this, enemies usually come in large numbers or in boss battles. And believe me, this game has great boss battles. I counted six in total, each with varied techiniques to bring them down. The other thing that makes things tough is the lack of a HUD. You probably won't know that Eddie is going to die until right before it happens, and the chances of living until you recover are slim. However it does wonders for the presentation. Just saying.
Next, you've got your driving. The World of Metal is 30 square miles across two continents, but fortunately, The Duece makes getting around a sinch. You can upgrade your car to be the coolest looking beast around, and the additions of weapons make destroying enemies a breeze. What's best, even as soon as your car gets destroyed, you can get it right back and keep on rockin'. However, the World's cartoony physics often make you lose control of your ride, but it's not a big deal.
A small part of gameplay is Guitar-Hero-like melodies that you can play to do different things. For example, Relic Raiser does, what else, raise relics. You can summon The Duece, encourage your troops and my personal favorite, The Face Melter (does exactly what is says with hilarious results).
The big part of gameplay is Stage Battles, which serve as an RTS meeting the other mechanics of the game. Eddie sprouts wings and can fly around the battlefield, ordering the various troops around. Headbangers have strong necks and thick skulls, serving as your basic infantry. Razor Girls are feathered hair groupies who wield BIG guns. Thunderhogs, led by the Kill Master (Motörhead's Lemmy Kilmister) use soothing bass strings to heal your units. Bouncers, (small brain, big fists) Roadies, (invisible to enemies and capable of destroying  large structures) Fire Beasts, and Siege Weapons also join the mix. You can double team with any of these units making each one valuable in its own respect. However, this is where it gets a little tricky. Though most RTS elements are in this game, such as troop creation, rally markers, upgrades to your troops and stage (your home base), some vital to the genre are not. For example, you can't order your troops to focus on one distinct enemy, only order them to attack in a general direction. This isn't a big deal at first, but as certain enemies enter the fray it can make things tough as your troops don't focus on destroying it. Another frustrating part is the fact that you yourself can't destroy any towers or stages in the battle, only other troops. Once you get the hang of this concept and upgrade yourself  (adding weapons and armor to The Deuce works wonders) it's not a big deal. The battles can take an awfully long time to complete as well. Multiplayer is essentially these battles against another player, and to be good at them, you really have to get each concept down to a T. It's great fun at times and absolutely frustrating at others.
Another aspect are side missions. However, the objectives are so simplified (kill these guys, race this guy, deliver this stuff) that I consider them more like mini-games than actual missions. Fun mini-games, but mini-games none the less.
In conclusion, Brütal Legend is a great game. A few elements in gameplay, namely RTS problems, lack of a HUD and the inability to jump at all (WTF?!) makes things a little sketchy. Still, these are minor problems and probably won't affect your decision on getting this game at all. If you are a fan of Heavy Metal or Tim Schafer, you should definitly pick up a copy. If not, maybe just rent it for a fun weekend. Hopefully this will bring more attention on Tim Schafer's genius and allow him to make an even better sequel (Which the story does set up!). Thanks for reading. May the Gods of Metal shine upon you and cover you in their Metal God Love. Oh wait...

In the Tray: Brütal Legend

Hail the Gods of Metal! Brütal Legend has finally hit stores and is in my Xbox. Though I am not finished with the game, unfortunate occurences allowed me to see the ending. Please if anyone tries to spoil the ending to any game for you I give you permission to kill them. :P
Without giving to much away, the narrative of Brütal Legend is excellent. Think of it as a cross between A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court meets Star Wars meets HEAVY METAL. You are Eddie Riggs (voiced PERFECTLY by Jack Black), a roadie who through the help of his mysterious belt buckle, is thrown back to the Age of Metal, where the evil Emporer Doviculus (VOICED BY TIM FUCKIN CURRY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!) rules over the land with the help of his patsy, General Lionwhyte (a shot at anyone who wore jean jackets and had ribbons on their mics, Cough-Bon Jovi-Cough). According to legend, you were sent by the creator of the world, the Fire Beast Ormagöden, as the Savior of the World...or the Harbinger of Destruction. No one is really sure about that, but that's what makes the story so good. You team up with a small resistance...of three people: Lars Halford (voiced with great dramatic poise by Rob Halford of Judas Priest), his sister Lita, and your love interest, Ophelia. Together, you must start a revolution to create the world's greatest band (your army) and defeat the Emporer through the power of Heavy Metal.
Hands down, this is the best presented game of the year. Tim Schafer is a god when it comes to originality and thinking beyond the limits of imagination. The Age of Metal is exactly that: completely immersed in Heavy Metal. Schafer has said that the world is inspired by any heavy metal album, and he was right. The sunsets look like the sky is burning, metal spiders spin webs of bass guitar strings, and eclipses are commonplace wherever you go. But don't think that this is just a one-trick pony. The two continents which you will visit are both filled with varied landscapes, from the humble country settlement of Bladehenge to ice covered mountains filled with mammoth beasts to the dark and deathly Sea of Black Tears. What's more is the different collectables throughout the landscape; Artifacts of Legend give a deep and amazing backstory to the world and Motor Forges are used to upgrade your axe, your guitar, and your ride, The Deuce. Ozzy Osbourne, aka The Guardian of Metal, watches over these, and provides hilarious commentary whenever you scroll through the vast customization options. As the story progresses, you reach new areas in the world, and previous areas change with the shifting tides of battle. Many thought this would be a humorous game, and in truth, it is only to a certain extent. The beginning is hilarious, hands down. But as you progress through the game, the humor is suppressed. While some may think this is bad, it actually serves the story well. Dampening the humor allowed Schafer to deliver easily his darkest game to date. The strong connection with the characters you gain in the beginning truly makes you care about the dark twist the story takes at the end. Most of the humor at that point is given to Jack Black's perfect delivery: "I'm the weiner, you're the bun, come on over, let's have fun." and to Mangus, your bus driver of your Tour of Destruction (your journey to kill Doviculus) who's not all with it (think Otto from the Simpsons).
However, the presentation isn't without fault. My biggest problem was that at a certain point in the game, you skip ahead three months to the next main piece of the story. For me, it really threw off the story's excellent pacing. And I had only one beef with the game's excellent soundtrack. NO DIO. Heaven and Hell was one of the greatest metal songs of all time and Dio was one of the greatest metal artists of all time. He deserved to be in there. At least there wasn't any Metallica. Praise the Metal Gods...

The Winter of Our Content

Back for a weekend blog. If you saw my We wuz robbed blog in September, you know that every prediction I made about football has gone completely and utterly wrong. Oh well. Maybe I will do better talking about the new basketball season. Just a few predictions about the teams I like and know will do well in the NBA.
Denver Nuggets: Don't even count Denver out. Last season is proof that this team is for real. Chauncey Billups, Carmelo Anthony, Nene, J.R. Smith, and the Birdman have all proven to be lethal when the chemistry clicks. I expect a great season that leads to the playoffs. Just really unfortunate that they had to play the Lakers.
Cleveland Cavaliers: Now this is the team to be and to beat to make a name for yourself. Lebron James (one of the best players of all time) single-handedly (and I do mean that) lead the team to their best record in franchise history last year. By Himself. Now that Shaq is heading to Cleveland for some much needed defensive boosts, expect, hell I'll say it: a Championship title this year.
Los Angeles Lakers: This team makes me sad face. Similar to the Steelers winning the Superbowl last year, the Lakers winning a championship really isn't inspiring anymore. Kobe is undoubtedly one of the best who ever played and last year was proof, it's just not fun to see them count how many they have. Like baseball and hockey, its just one of those teams that's really kept up by money, not genuine coaching or commitment.
Orlando Magic: This is a decent team that thrives on defense more so than offense. To put it in perspective, center Dwight Howard's shoulders are bigger than most people's bodies. He is a force on the court, and hopefully some better offense should carry his team back to the NBA Finals.
Miami Heat: I don't think that this team will make the playoffs, and that makes me cry. Dwayne Wade is a terrific ballplayer, and it sucks that he has to be on a team that has no talent other than his own. Seek a trade to better team, Wade. You deserve it.
As always for baseball and hockey, go Rockies and Avalanche as God intended. Remember that the Red Wings are from hell and that Boston and New York are the best teams money can buy and still suck. That is all.

Opinions

Yesterday, a friend and I were having an argument over what game would be the best game of 2009. He said Assassin's Creed 2 and I said it would be Modern Warfare 2. We kept on about it, disrespecting each other and our ideas. I thought a lot about that conversation since then, and realize that neither of us were right. Because we weren't dealing with facts. We were dealing with opinions.
First of all, it would be impossible to describe the perfect game, or any other object for that matter. Each person has different tastes, and to get angry at someone's alternative viewpoint is both foolish and pointless (no pun intended). I know this sounds obvious, but sometimes it doesn't always seem so. But I'm serious about this. You can't really compare any games together because they each do different things. Assassin's Creed is an action/adventure game while Modern Warfare is an FPS. They play out so differently that there really is nothing to compare them too, other than the obvious such as graphics, sound, and other things that either are objectively good or bad. One of the points I argued for was that MF 2 had multiplayer. I regret making this argument. Just because a game has multiplayer doesn't automatically make it better than another game, especially if the multiplayer isn't fun for some people. What I should have said was that I will enjoy the multiplayer as much as the single player. Its just difficult to judge a game, and therefore, we shouldn't throw out a rating with numbers to justify what we personally think.
Sorry for the short one today, but I've been rather swamped. Hopefully I can get another one out this weekend about the upcoming basketball season. Cheers! (P.S. I want and will love both AC and MF so stop ur bitchin, Mitchen!)